In her new book, Don’t Screw Up Your Divorce, Certified Divorce Coach® Chloe Oudiz shares key information, common mistakes and expert tips gathered through her years of experience supporting people through separation and divorce. By guiding you through the preparatory phases of your divorce, Don’t Screw Up Your Divorce is the essential guide to taking control of events and to navigating your separation in the smoothest way possible. As you will likely realise through your reading of the book, the time invested in this initial stage is not only worthwhile, it is essential. The author walks readers through the many steps that need to be taken prior to starting any part of the legal process. Because divorce is first and foremost a life experience, treating it as such will avoid the pitfall of turning it into a legal quagmire.

When she speaks of “preparation,” Chloe Oudiz includes both logistical and emotional readiness. Both are essential requirements to ensure you maintain control of your divorce and keep conflict at a minimum. Thinking long term will allow you to get past the immediate emotional reactions you might be experiencing and to focus on a thought-through and fully considered plan. Let’s reflect on some key areas of preparation highlighted throughout the book’s eight chapters, each chapter focusing on a specific concern individuals have at the start of the process:

Debunking myths and misconceptions

Many people enter divorce proceedings with misconceptions that can shape their actions and decisions. Don’t Screw Up Your Divorce explores some of the most common divorce myths, such as assumptions about child arrangements, financial settlements, or the idea that you cannot back out of divorce once it’s started. Understanding these truths early on will enable you to make informed decisions based on facts rather than assumptions.

Emotional readiness

Divorce is more than a legal process; it’s a transition that impacts every dimension of your life. Preparing yourself emotionally by having realistic expectations of what the process entails, understanding your spouse’s conflict style, and seeking the right support networks are crucial to maintaining resilience throughout the divorce. The book highlights practical tips to ensure you reflect on your emotional needs, in order to better manage the inevitable challenges ahead.

Choosing the right divorce path

There are multiple ways to approach divorce, and not all are right for every couple. Don’t Screw Up Your Divorce guides readers through the costs, timelines and benefits of the main out-of-court resolution solutions such as mediation, collaborative law, and arbitration. Careful consideration of these options can lead to a more amicable separation, which in turn can reduce both the emotional and financial toll.

Gathering the right information and team

Before initiating the legal proceedings, it is essential to be organised. This means gathering financial documents and assembling the team of professionals your case requires: a lawyer, a Certified Divorce Coach®, a financial adviser, and/or a therapist for example. By taking these steps from the outset, you are well-positioned to make sound decisions. This also helps avoid delays or last-minute scrambles for critical information that could derail your plans.

Financial planning

One of the most significant sources of stress during and after divorce is its financial impact. Don’t Screw Up Your Divorce addresses the importance of budgeting for both the immediate costs of divorce and the long-term financial implications, such as whether you can afford to keep the family home or how to manage ongoing expenses such as school fees. Financial planning helps you avoid being caught off guard by unexpected expenses and allows you to create a more secure future for yourself and your family.

Preparing for difficult conversations

How you communicate your decision to divorce to your spouse can shape the entire journey. Whether it’s telling your spouse, your children, or your friends and family, approaching these conversations with care and preparation is vital. Chloe Oudiz shares expert tips from her many years of coaching individuals and couples to help you prepare for these emotionally charged discussions. She highlights the importance of safety and script-writing, especially if you are away from your usual support system. Preparing for these conversations helps you manage their emotional weight and maintain a peaceful environment.

Moving forward with confidence

As underlined in this book, thorough preparation not only helps you avoid mistakes but also establishes a sense of control throughout the divorce. When you are clear about your priorities, realistic about your finances, and deliberate in your emotional and legal strategies, the path through divorce becomes more manageable.

Nonetheless, as the author reminds us, it is important to keep in mind the saying: “You plan, God laughs.” The nature of plans is that they don’t always go according to plan. Things might not unfold exactly as you anticipated – there are two of you in this dance after all – but if you remain steady and consistent, you will manage to pivot without losing sight of your long-term objectives. In other words, the road might be windier than expected, but it can still lead to the same destination.

In summary: preparation is empowerment

By planning your divorce, you are not just surviving the process, you are laying the groundwork for a future that aligns with your values, aspirations, and long-term goals. In short, you are offering yourself the essential ingredients of empowerment.

Don’t Screw Up Your Divorce will give you strength, resilience, and peace of mind as you move forward into the next phase of your life, ready to embrace new beginnings.

Don’t Screw Up Your Divorce is available on Amazon worldwide, in paperback and kindle format. For more information, visit www.dontscrewupyourdivorce.com

EXCLUSIVE OFFER: FIND A 20% VOUCHER OFF COACHING SERVICES WITH CHLOE OUDIZ INSIDE THE BOOK!

‍