Moving between two homes involves more than deciding where a child sleeps. School mornings, handovers, activities, holidays and communication between parents all need enough structure to work in everyday life.

If you are working out what to include in a parenting plan, the aim is not to make both households identical. It is to record the arrangements that matter and make changes easier to discuss. This guide focuses on England and Wales and provides practical steps, checklists and signs that specialist advice may be useful.

What Should You Do First

Start with what already happens rather than redesigning the whole week at once.

• Write down the current school week and overnight arrangements
• Record regular handovers and transport
• List activities, appointments and school commitments
• Decide how practical updates will be shared
• Note holidays or changes already expected
• Identify anything that remains unresolved

Avoid this

Do not make a significant change first and try to record it afterwards. If a court order already covers child arrangements, do not assume a new private plan changes or replaces that order.

Prepare

• School timetable
• Current weekly schedule
• Activity calendar
• Relevant appointment information
• Existing written arrangements
• Any current court order

If you or your child is at immediate risk, seek urgent support rather than trying to negotiate a parenting agreement.

Which Parts of This Guide Apply to Your Family

Some parents mainly need a reliable school week. Others are coordinating shift work, longer journeys between homes or different arrangements during holidays. If distance or travel is the main difficulty, Steps 2 and 4 will be particularly relevant.

If your child relies on predictable routines or has additional support needs, identify the practical information both households need. This may involve school arrangements, transitions, activities or agreed ways of sharing updates. If your child uses a visual timetable, advance notice of changes or another familiar way of preparing for transitions, note how that support will work across both homes.

Before you start

This guide is for parents making or updating private arrangements. Extra care is needed where there is already a court order, a dispute about parental responsibility, a proposed relocation or a safety concern.

A parenting plan made between parents is not legally binding by itself. Parents who agree and want their arrangements to have legal effect can obtain advice about asking the court to approve a consent order.

What to Include in a Parenting Plan Step by Step

1 Record the routine that already works

What to do

Write down the child's ordinary week, covering school, nights in each home, regular activities and handovers.

Why it matters

Putting the ordinary week on paper makes it easier to see what already works and what still needs to be agreed.

Prepare

Have school times, activity schedules and current handover arrangements available.

If these details are becoming difficult to organise or you are unsure what belongs in the written agreement, guidance on creating a parenting plan can help you decide what to record and what still needs to be agreed.

Avoid

Do not add unnecessary rules simply because the arrangement is being written down.

2 Agree the weekly pattern and handovers

What to do

Record where the child will usually spend time and how collections, drop-offs and transport will work.

Why it matters

A schedule is easier to follow when practical details do not need to be renegotiated at every handover.

Prepare

List school times, work commitments and realistic travel times.

Avoid

Do not use the child to pass messages about changes or disagreements.

3 Record important information

What to do

Decide how parents will share school information, appointment details and other updates relevant to the child's care.

Why it matters

A parenting agreement gives both parents one place to check what has been agreed, without reopening routine decisions each time.

Prepare

Gather school contacts, regular appointment information and details of support arrangements both households need to know.

Avoid

Do not assume the parenting plan changes parental responsibility or overrides an existing legal arrangement.

4 Plan holidays and predictable changes

What to do

Discuss school holidays, birthdays, family occasions and travel separately from the ordinary weekly schedule.

Why it matters

These periods may require different transport, working arrangements or handover times.

Prepare

Use the school calendar and note any travel already planned.

Avoid

Do not assume that putting overseas travel in the parenting plan satisfies any permission requirements. Overseas travel may require permission from everyone with parental responsibility or from the court, depending on the arrangements already in place.

5 Decide how changes will be handled

What to do

Agree how either parent can suggest a change and when the plan should be reviewed.

Why it matters

Children's schedules and needs change, so the arrangement needs a practical way to adapt.

Prepare

Identify foreseeable changes, perhaps starting school, different working hours or a move.

Avoid

Do not make the review process so rigid that ordinary practical changes become difficult to discuss.

What Practical Tools Should You Prepare

Keep the plan and the information used to create it together.

Document checklist

• Current weekly schedule
• School calendar
• Activity information
• Relevant appointments
• Holiday arrangements
• Existing child arrangements documents

Questions to ask a solicitor

• Does any part of our plan raise a parental responsibility issue?
• Does an existing court order affect what we can agree?
• Could mediation or another non-court process help?
• Do we need our agreement to have legal effect?
• Does relocation or overseas travel change the position?

Mistakes to avoid

• Assuming the plan is legally binding
• Informally replacing an existing court order
• Leaving transport and handovers unclear
• Using the child to carry messages
• Having no practical way to discuss changes
• Assuming every disagreement requires court involvement without first considering other options for making child arrangements

A neutral way to start the conversation could be

“Can we write down the school week, handovers, holidays and how we will share important updates, then identify anything we still need to resolve?”

When Should You Get Specialist Family Law Advice

Many parents can make a private parenting agreement themselves. Specialist advice becomes more useful when the issue is no longer simply about organising the week.

Examples include an existing court order, uncertainty about parental responsibility, relocation, disagreement about an important school decision, repeated difficulty reaching agreement or questions about whether the arrangement should have legal effect.

In these situations, a change that looks practical on paper may affect what can be agreed informally or whether a formal process is needed.

A trusted family law solicitor can help separate day-to-day arrangements from questions that have legal consequences. They can also explain mediation and other non-court options where appropriate.

Stowe Family Law specialises in family law, including child arrangements. Its parenting plan guidance covers practical questions such as living arrangements, schooling, healthcare, holidays and communication between parents.

Before making most applications to the family court about children, you will usually need to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) unless an exemption applies.

Questions Parents Often Ask

Is a parenting plan legally binding?

Not by itself. A private plan records what parents have agreed but does not have the same legal effect as a court order. Parents who want an agreement to become legally binding can obtain advice about a consent order.

How long does it take to make a parenting plan?

There is no fixed timeframe. Some parents can agree the main arrangements in one discussion, while others may need several conversations, particularly where holidays, travel or unresolved issues are involved.

What if we agree on most things but not everything?

Write down what is already agreed and identify the remaining issue separately. Depending on the disagreement, mediation, legal advice or another non-court process may help.

What happens if the other parent will not agree to the plan?

You can record the points you already agree on and keep the disputed issues separate. Mediation or another non-court process may help where direct agreement is difficult. If the disagreement involves a court order, parental responsibility or another legal issue, tailored advice may be useful.

A useful parenting plan does not need to anticipate every future change. It needs to make the current arrangements clear, give both parents a practical way to share important information and set out how changes will be discussed.

As routines develop across two homes, the plan can be reviewed when needed. If a proposed change involves an existing court order, parental responsibility or relocation, tailored advice may be useful before you act.

Disclaimer

This article is for informational purposes only and focuses on England and Wales. Every family's circumstances are different. Where an existing order, safety concern or complex children law issue is involved, tailored legal advice may be appropriate.

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